Congratulations! You're someone's best friend (OK, maybe you're just his little brother, but chances are you like the guy), and you want to live up to the title of Best Man. You're going to have to do more than hand off the ring after he nudges you in the gut--in fact, you're going to have to become a master of ceremonies, constantly working behind the scenes to make the groom look as good as possible. You'll be giving speeches, throwing parties and who knows what else. The groom is going to have a lot on his mind--you're there to allay his worries and make sure the distracted man makes himself look presentable. Remember that guests are likely to forgive a nervous groom if he walks down the aisle with his shirt untucked, but they'll wonder what kind of friend YOU are.
Sound like a lot? Don't worry: if you follow the steps below, you can be assured of it staying more of a honor than a hassle, despite the inevitable last-minute madness. It may be their Big Day, but you'll definitely have your chance to shine.
- Step 1: Throw a bachelor party
- Step 2: Write a speech
- Step 3: Arrange wedding day transportation
- Step 4: Attend all pre-wedding functions
- Step 5: Pick up tuxedos
- Step 6: Get the groom to the church on time.
- Step 7: Escort the groom down the aisle
- Step 8: Deliver the speech.
Throw a Bachelor Party
In the past, grooms threw their own bachelor parties, but the duty has increasingly fallen on the shoulders of the Best Man. This only makes sense, since then the groom can blame any unforeseen antics on someone else. Here are some tips:Who: Be sure to compile the invitation list with the groom present. You should invite the groom's best male friends and relatives, but double-check that they've also been invited to the wedding! If there is an older or more conservative family member who might not appreciate the sexual flavor of some of the party's activities, plan the event in two stages: first PG, then R (or X).
What: It is your job to provide beer, booze and other beverages. Snacks will help stabilize blood-alcohol levels, so keep them on hand. Other activities are up to your discretion (and hopefully you'll show some). Society traditionally turns a blind eye to this last hurrah, but consider the wishes of groom, and to a certain extent, those of the bride, before engaging the services of a lap dancer.
Where: The party can be held anywhere: a golf course, your home, the groom's home, his favorite bar, or any combination of these.When: Traditionally, the bachelor party is held the night before the wedding, but that could mean your friend takes his vows under the influence of a wicked hangover (see 2torial #0448 Learn2 Help a Hangover). A more practical option is to hold it the weekend before the wedding. However, those coming in from out of town might have to miss out on the fun. Discuss the various options with the groom.
Hangover's are usually the item after a bachelor party. If the party happens the day before the wedding you need to know how to sober up the groom.
The Care and Feeding of Pink Elephants Maybe hangovers are nature's way of telling us that too much alcohol is not good for us, eh? Chances are, if you drink alcohol, at some point in your life you've drunk way too much of it. When one drinks like that, one must be prepared for the consequences. We all have our own private understanding for that dreadful feeling, but one recent and insightful characterization was: "My mouth tastes like I stayed up all night licking Morubian postage stamps." No one has been able to come up with a sure-fire way to treat a hangover, but there are some steps to minimize the pain. At least until the next big party, right?
Sometimes you'll know in advance that one night will be a particularly sobriety-challenged evening. Here are some precautionary measures to consider:Taking a gram or more of vitamin C for the few days leading up to that evening may help your body clear the alcohol more quickly than it normally would. If you know that you'll be drinking in a few hours, make sure that you've got something in your stomach. Breads and pasta will slow the absorption of alcohol, and there's generally a pizza joint somewhere around the bar scene.
Get the Groom to the Church on Time!
It's better to pace a little in the parking lot than to leave the bride waiting at the altar, so set your alarm clock so that you have plenty of time to make the groom (and yourself) presentable. This may take a little extra effort if the bachelor party is held on the eve of the wedding, so plan accordingly. When you're both gussied up and ready to go, it is up to you to drive the lucky devil to the ceremony--the last thing he should do is drive.Other last-minute tasks may include brewing coffee; taking charge of luggage and travel documents (if the honeymoon begins that night); picking up boutonnieres from the bride's parents' house; even tying the groom's tie.
Once you arrive at the wedding site, you swing into action. Give the groom's party a once-over, making sure they have showered, shaved and learned their cues. Don't be afraid to suggest that the groom take a last-minute trip to the restroom; nerves can make you forget you need to go.When the time comes, take one last check of the groom's physical appearance, then escort him down the aisle. Make sure that the ring is secure but also easily accessible, and be prepared to deliver it up at the right moment during the service.
After the knot has been tied, you should help the photographer gather to say cheese. You may also be asked to sign the wedding certificate as a witness, and perhaps deliver the fee due to the marriage officiant. Finally, you'll see the couple safely to their car, or, if there's no chauffeur, drive them yourself.
Write a Speech
Most of the time, the Best Man does best to hold his tongue, stand to the side, and do as he is told. However, he does get his 15 minutes of fame at the wedding reception, when he's expected to deliver a speech that is at once witty, heartfelt and full of hope for the young couple's future. Sounds hard, but following this three-part outline will help ease the pain. And remember, a wedding party is about the most forgiving audience you'll ever have. They'll laugh uproariously at the lamest joke and rush to congratulate you, even if you didn't project your voice beyond the icing on the wedding cake.A) Embarrass the groom
Recount an embarrassing anecdote from the groom's past, but one that also manages to endear him to the audience, e.g., the pratfall he took after winning the big race. There are likely to be guests who have never even met the groom, so use this opportunity to let them know a little about his character, why you cherish his friendship, etc.
B) Flatter the bride
Let everyone in the room know why this particular woman is a perfect match for the groom and why they're destined for a lifetime of marital bliss. You might recount how the couple met; what tactics the groom employed to win her over; or the time he confided to you that he was in love and ready to pop the question.C) Words of hope and gratitude
Thank the groom for choosing you as his best man; pay homage to the parents of the bride and/or whoever else made the wedding possible; and end with a rousing toast to the couple's future.
I'll Drink to That! Joyous occasions call for kind words--and what better way to share them than with a toast? Just a few words or thoughts, spoken from the heart, can spread a feeling of cheer throughout the room--regardless of its size. Whether you've been asked to speak at a special occasion or the moment calls for an impromptu toast, it's always best to be prepared. Lucky for you, it only takes a little effort to be ready, witty and able to make a toast at any given time
The exact origin of toasting is unknown, but its purpose of promoting good feelings has certainly been enjoyed worldwide throughout history (perhaps over-enjoyed in some cases!). The term "toast" originated in 17th Century England, when it was customary to place a piece of toast or crouton in a drink (usually wine) to enhance flavor and promote good health. While toasting etiquette has changed over time, the general message remains the same: It's your chance to express your feelings or admiration for someone in a social situation. All eyes and ears will be focused on you, so speak up, be sincere and show everyone just how charming you can be.
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